I didn't want to tell anyone how I was feeling because I didn't want anyone to think I was a bad mum and take Arabella away. She was my reason for getting out of bed each day, I found the confidence to leave the house only because I knew it was unfair to condemn her to solitude because of my fears. The thought of admitting I had a problem, a weakness that might make some question my ability as a mother. It was why I'd not admitted the way I was feeling sooner.
These pancakes are super filling and pretty good for you too.
As a new mum you're hit with advice from all angles - mostly contradictory - you can easily convince yourself that you're basically failing as a mother. If I was doing ok surely they wouldn't need to drown me in pointers and tips?!
As a first time mum there are so many things no one warned you could happen. 'Retained products' was a term I'd never heard, let alone knew to look out for, so I had no idea that I was suffering the symptoms for months. My journey post partum has been a rollercoaster but now that I'm slowly feeling better I recognise the importance of sharing my story, spreading awareness and offering support to others who find themselves in a similar situation.